i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
