FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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