Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
