Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
