my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
