Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
