that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
