We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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