You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
