If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
