Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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