The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
