i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
