you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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