Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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