the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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