Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
