You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
