I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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