i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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