11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
