you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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