It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
And then he peed in my hair
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