I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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