moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
