im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
