I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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