This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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