totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
