Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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