Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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