What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
