We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
