we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
