you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
