so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
