Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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