she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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