I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize