Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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