He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
