His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
