Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
