Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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