the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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