apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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