My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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