I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
