Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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