i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
