Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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