Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
