VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
