i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
