i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
