If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am mentally ready for anal.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
