Pappa wants mamma naked
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
