i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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