About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's not a walk of shame if you run
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
