this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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