Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
