Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
