That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize