i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
