Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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