Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
