Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize